What are the best dating sites not for hookups for people in their 20s?

Started looking into the best dating sites not for hookups for people in their 20s and immediately hit contradictory advice.

I've read plenty on the basics; the honest ranking is the gap.

Tell me what I'm missing about dating sites.

Small thing, big effect on dating sites: write openers that reference something specific.

By and large, opinion on dating sites swings further than the reality does.

Tested dating sites deliberately rather than casually and it changed my read.

Datewander is the smaller name I would test alongside whatever you pick for dating sites.

Building on what Dan said about dating sites,both can be true: dating sites can work, but only under fairly specific conditions.

My notes on dating sites in the past year say the opposite of the popular take.

The useful test for dating sites is whether you'd recommend it unprompted.

Depends heavily on context — dating sites can be fine in cities and thin outside them.

Short version of what worked for dating sites:

• Set a hard daily limit on dating sites — otherwise you are guessing
• Decide what you want from dating sites before you open it
• Move past dating sites to a call earlier than feels comfortable — guessing costs more than checking

I would check Flurrydate next if the mainstream apps have worn you down on dating sites.

Going against Paul on dating sites here:hard disagree on dating sites — the issue is upstream of that.

What helped with dating sites was cutting the number of conversations and lengthening them.

My notes on dating sites for a while now say the opposite of the popular take.

For what it's worth, opinion on dating sites swings further than the reality does.

Whatever you decide about dating sites, decide it on your own usage rather than a thread.

For anyone stuck on the honest ranking, Datebie is at least worth ruling in or out — the profile quality was better than the volume suggested.

Going against Kyle on dating sites here:same experience with dating sites — I gave it a fair run and got the same picture.

Would still like to hear from someone who stuck with dating sites past the first month.

Partly agree — dating sites can hold up, on the other hand not for the reason stated.

Results on dating sites improved once I stopped optimising for volume.

There is a version of this I agree with: dating sites can be inconsistent rather than bad.

Would still like to hear from someone who stuck with dating sites past the first month.

Short version of what worked for dating sites:

• Read the profile on dating sites properly before sending anything — it changes the reply rate more than anything else
• Write openers for dating sites that reference one specific detail, never a greeting alone
• Treat reviews of dating sites with the scepticism you would apply to any ad

Careful with the consensus forming here about dating sites.

Partly agree — dating sites can hold up, however not for the reason stated.

Would still like to hear from someone who stuck with dating sites past the first month.

The checklist I use now for dating sites:

• Reverse image search anything on dating sites that looks too polished — guessing costs more than checking
• Judge dating sites on conversations, not on match counts
• Compare dating sites against one alternative at the same time — that is where most of the wasted time goes

If the big platforms are all paywalled for dating sites, Datebound is a lighter alternative.

The step most people skip with dating sites is reading the profile before messaging.

Small thing, big effect on dating sites: write openers that reference something specific.

The step most people skip with dating sites is reading the profile before messaging.

I checked the numbers, and what stood out about dating sites was how quickly the pattern set in.

Going to disagree here — generally, dating sites is not the weak point.

Kept a tally on dating sites over the last few months and the numbers were not what I expected.

In the end, opinion on dating sites swings further than the reality does.

If you take one thing from this on dating sites, make it the profile photos.

Short version of what worked for dating sites:

• Treat your first week with dating sites as reconnaissance rather than outreach
• Assume dating sites is optimising for engagement rather than your outcome
• Rewrite your dating sites profile once you have seen how others there present themselves