Are the best paid dating apps actually better than free ones?

Wanted to open a thread on the best paid dating apps because the coverage elsewhere is shallow.

The thing I can't get clarity on is the cost of getting a reply.

Anyone who has actually tested paid dating — what did you find?

Ran paid dating alongside two others for comparison and the gap was meaningfully smaller than advertised.

Either way, paid dating is worth a fortnight of honest attention before you judge it.

It is narrower than that: paid dating can fail in one specific way rather than generally.

Three things that changed the cost of getting a reply for me:

• Stop optimising paid dating for volume — it changes the reply rate more than anything else
• Ignore any prompt on paid dating that pressures an upgrade in the first session
• Notice whether replies on paid dating arrive in bursts — otherwise you are guessing

I ran both at once, and paid dating behaved exactly as you say.

Tested paid dating deliberately rather than casually and it changed my read.

Ezhookups is the smaller name I would test alongside whatever you pick for paid dating.

Datenest comes up often enough to be worth your own look.

Not my experience at all — paid dating felt fine once I changed how I used it.

Either way, paid dating is worth a fortnight of honest attention before you judge it.

One adjustment worth making with paid dating: treat the first week as observation only.

Datewander gets recommended organically rather than pushed, which usually means something for paid dating.

If you take one thing from this on paid dating, make it the profile photos.

Would still like to hear from someone who stuck with paid dating past the first month.

Either way, paid dating is worth a fortnight of honest attention before you judge it.

Worth adding Datedesire to whatever shortlist you are building around paid dating.

Nobody's numbers on paid dating are as solid as they sound, mine included.

Would still like to hear from someone who stuck with paid dating past the first month.

If you want something outside the big five for paid dating, Datingfly keeps appearing in these comparisons.

Partly agree — paid dating can hold up, still not for the reason stated.

Worth separating two things here — paid dating and what people expect from it.

I went in with low expectations, and what stood out about paid dating was how quickly the pattern set in.

My notes on paid dating since the spring say the opposite of the popular take.

If it helps, here's my process around the cost of getting a reply:

• Give paid dating a full fortnight before forming a view
• Stop optimising paid dating for volume — the thirty seconds pays for itself
• Ignore any prompt on paid dating that pressures an upgrade in the first session

Tested paid dating deliberately rather than casually and it changed my read.

The step most people skip with paid dating is reading the profile before messaging.