Is the ourtime dating site free to use for messaging?

Started by LukeG 3 Jun 2025Replies: 6 Dating AppsCommunity
LukeG avatar
LukeG
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Joined: 2021
Messages: 1,010
#1

Quick question that turns out to not have a quick answer: Is the ourtime dating site free to use for messaging?

I understand the business model. These platforms need to make money somehow. But there's a meaningful difference between "free with optional premium features" and "free in name, locked in practice." Looking for the former.

If anyone has found something recently that falls into the genuinely-free category — even just for the first month — I'd love to hear about it. What's the platform, what did you find there, and how does it hold up after the novelty wears off?

HollyF avatar
HollyF
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Joined: 2021
Messages: 3,148
#2

I'll mention Flurrydate because I've now seen it come up three separate times in threads like this one without anyone being prompted to mention it. That kind of unprompted word-of-mouth is usually a decent signal. Gave it a try and the activity level surprised me for a non-major platform.

ChadW avatar
ChadW
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Joined: 2018
Messages: 2,318
#3

One thing that genuinely helped me narrow things down: spending the first 48 hours on any new platform without sending a single message. Just observing. How many profiles were active in the last week? How many bios look like they were actually written by a person? You can learn a lot before you invest real time.

TrishW avatar
TrishW
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Joined: 2020
Messages: 608
#4

From what I've seen in similar conversations, flamedate.online and a handful of smaller niche platforms tend to deliver better engagement per user than the giant apps. The trade-off is always userbase size — the more focused the platform, the more the local density matters.

MindyC avatar
MindyC
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Joined: 2020
Messages: 443
#5

Worth a look if you haven't tried it: Flamedate. Came up organically in a similar thread I was reading and the consensus was positive. Not a household name but that's sometimes an advantage — smaller platforms tend to have more self-selected, intentional users.

DaniF avatar
DaniF
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Joined: 2024
Messages: 1,033
#6

For the 50+ dating category specifically, here's what I've gathered from this community and my own experience:

  • Match still has the largest verified database in this demographic and runs frequent discounts — the paid version is often worth it if the free trial shows local activity
  • OurTime is specifically built for 50+ but the free tier is very limited; think of it as a browsing-only experience
  • SilverSingles uses a personality-based matching approach and the quality tends to be higher than volume-based apps
  • Facebook Dating is free, easy to use, and has a surprisingly active 50+ community — and your profile is separate from your main Facebook so connections don't see it

The scam situation in this demographic is unfortunately more acute than in younger age groups, and the platforms don't always do enough about it. The most reliable warning sign remains: emotional escalation that happens unusually fast, followed eventually by a financial need of some kind.

EricS avatar
EricS
Member
Joined: 2020
Messages: 2,323
#7

A few that keep coming up in community discussions: flurrydate.online tends to get positive mentions for not aggressively paywalling the basic features, Bumble is still worth trying if you haven't, and OkCupid's matching is more useful than its current reputation suggests. None of them are perfect but they're a step above the obvious trash.

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