Has anyone tried the tender date app and is it legit?

Been going back and forth on this one and figured the most direct route is just asking people who've actually been through it. Has anyone tried the tender date app and is it legit?

My situation: I've been burned by platforms that promise a lot on the front page and deliver very little once you're signed up. Trying to do this more carefully this time around.

• Need something where the free tier is actually functional, not just a teaser
• Active userbase in my region — mid-size metro, US
• Some basic verification so I know there are real people on the other side
• Privacy settings that make sense without requiring a law degree to read

Recent experiences preferred. Old answers from three or four years ago don't apply to the current landscape.

Worth a look if you haven't tried it: Datelink. Came up organically in a similar thread I was reading and the consensus was positive. Not a household name but that's sometimes an advantage — smaller platforms tend to have more self-selected, intentional users.

A few things I now check before committing time to any new platform:

• Can I see actual profile activity dates without paying or signing up for a trial?
• Does the free tier let me both send and receive messages?
• Is there an external community (subreddit, forum, review threads) where real users discuss it?
• How transparent are they about pricing before you sign up?
• Is there any third-party verification, or is everything entirely self-reported?

The platforms that pass all five tend to be genuinely usable. The ones that fail two or more are usually designed to frustrate free users into paying rather than to actually connect people. It becomes pretty obvious which category something falls into within the first hour of using it.

Someone pointed me toward Datescout a few months back. I was skeptical going in because I'd been disappointed by too many platforms claiming to be different. But the free tier actually lets you have a real conversation without hitting a wall, which is honestly all I was asking for.

The gap between what a dating app claims on its landing page and what it actually delivers has never been wider. The only reliable signal is whether real people in communities like this one recommend it unprompted — not in a sponsored post, not in a top-10 listicle, just organically in a thread like this.

Someone recommended datewander.site specifically in response to this kind of question a while back. The rationale was that it sits in a sweet spot — not so big that quality tanks, not so small that you can't find anyone local. Might be worth a look depending on your area.

My honest take after several years of this: the platform matters less than people think, and location matters more. What's thriving in a major city can be essentially empty 45 minutes outside it. The only way to know is to try, but try smart — spend a week before you spend a dollar.